Dinner for one (Same as every year)

I don't see this classic on the local TV schedules so enjoy a bit of tradition, with Miss Sophie, Sir Toby, Admiral von Schneider, Mr Pommeroy, Mr Winterbottom and , of course,James.

Although the exact history of the play doesn't seem too clear what is certain is that the rights eventually belonged to Freddy Frinton and will always be most associated with him. It was first performed on German television and is still a massive hit there every year. Freddy Frinton was "the superlative stage drunk", fascinating as he was a confirmed teetotaler ... and played James! I colour version was scheduled to be shot in 1968 but Frinton had a heart attack just three weeks before filming was to begin.

For more info click here.

Enjoy!!

Pre-packaged New Years resolutions

To aid you as you spend hours deliberating as to what your News Years resolutions will be this time around I have come up with some you are free to use and quote as your own.

I will take responsibility for my own actions - currently one of society's big problems is a general lack of personal responsibility. It's amazing how often and how easily 'the government', 'the system','the media' etc are blamed for anything negative that takes place in the lives of people. Somehow we have come to expect everything to be done for us. Where did this expectation come from? Surely we are empowered enough to create our own futures. Why should we accept that the control that we relinquish when relying on our governments for an environment in which we can 'prosper.' What is so bad about saying, 'I screwed up.'

I will set an example for those around me - Parents talk about how the upcoming generation are couch potatoes, who have no direction and sense of responsibility. The drinking age gets increasingly lower. Sexually transmitted diseases passed the epidemic stage a long, long time ago. Drivers lament at the bad & dangerous driving habits of taxis.
At the same time children watch their parents drink themselves into a stupor at junior school cocktail parties. Parents work long hours to ensure that they can 'keep up with the Joneses' supplying the children with all the latest gizmos to relinquish the responsibility of entertaining them. People and organisations are so aware of others sensitivities that the truths behind the spread of HIV get clouded behind all sorts of spin. Drivers refuse to obey laws they don't feel applies to them (talking on cellphones, speed limits, overtaking on a solid line).
Perhaps it's time to walk the talk.

I will force myself to think for myself - It's amazing how, now that we have so much information at your fingertips, people still do not question. We are fed lies and half truths via established media houses who are in turn fed this 'information' by corporate PR houses and government spin doctors. Let's try and expand our minds sufficiently, so that we are able to make educated judgments on what we see, read and hear ... without having to be cynical.

I will smile more - Let's look for the positive in all we encounter.

Review of the Best Satellite TV on PC Software

Satellite TV for PC is a product of more than seven years of dedicated research and development. Satellite TV for PC Elite Edition is the best satellite TV on PC software. There are cheap imitations on the internet but nothing beats the original. It is an easy-to-use computer program that legally access thousands of television channels from all over the world and sends them to your computer via the internet.

For an affordable one time payment of $49.95 for this satellite TV on PC software, you can watch hundreds of live worldwide channels on your PC for free. This is a huge savings compared to almost $90 monthly bills that you have to pay for satellite TV services.

Once you downloaded this satellite TV on PC software, you will automatically become a member and can access more than 3000 stations on your PC or laptop for free, no monthly or recurring charges. It works anywhere in the world and you can get channels from 78 countries around the world in different languages.

After installation of this satellite TV on PC software, you can watch anything you want for free which includes 60 channels of movies of any genre you like, over 70 channels of sports, the hottest music which also includes over 1,500 radio stations from around the world, countless kids channels, educational channels, over 120 premium channels that you can access for free, TV shopping channels, and you can even watch channels you can’t get from satellite TV providers like Vietnam HDTV and Cubavision from Cuba.

You will also get bonuses like unlimited movie downloads, free unlimited TV shows (full episodes), free unlimited mp3 music downloads, media player and a lot more. But the best part is once you bought this satellite TV on PC software you have nothing else to pay, no monthly or recurring charges ever. You will be redirected to the download site, it works with all versions of Windows and in less than 5 minutes you can access and watch your favorite movies, sports, TV shows right on your computer. You will receive a full service with friendly customer and technical support.

You are no longer limited to satellite TV providers if you want to watch satellite TV. This satellite TV on PC software gives you another option and huge savings. You can save thousands of dollars over many years on cable and satellite bills. Why pay $90 monthly when you can have it for free? More than one million users are enjoying satellite TV through this satellite TV on PC software. Visit Satellite TV for PC

Watch Free Satellite Television on Your PC

Satellite TV brings a lot of choices when it comes to entertainment and information that makes television viewing more enjoyable. While there are companies offering satellite TV services, it will be a good option if you can watch free satellite television on your PC or laptop.

Personal computer and internet connection is a necessity in every home. Communication with friends and family is possible using your computer and internet. Even shopping, restaurant reservations, bill payments and other stuffs are being done online. You cannot live without a computer and internet at home.

Almost everyone owns a computer and of course it is convenient and cool if you can watch free satellite television on your PC or laptop. Years ago this is not possible and if you are a very busy person you cannot watch satellite TV when traveling or when working in your computer. But now with advance technology and years of dedicated research and development, you can watch free satellite television on your PC anytime and anywhere. Now you can use your PC not only to read emails, chat with friends, shop and play games but you can also watch free satellite television on your PC.

Years ago, you can only watch satellite TV with the installation of dish from satellite TV services or providers and you need to pay a monthly subscription fee. Now you can watch free satellite television on your PC without monthly or recurring charges. To watch satellite television on your PC you do not need a satellite dish, receiver or any cable or satellite service. You do not need to install a TV tuner or additional hardware. All you need is a computer, internet connection and satellite television software. For a one time payment for the satellite TV software, you can watch free satellite television on your PC instantly after the software installation. For a one time payment, you can watch free satellite television and no monthly or recurring charges.

Once you have bought the software you have nothing else to pay… ever. So why pay over $90 per month on cable or satellite services when you can watch free satellite television on your PC? Discover the exclusive distributor of this satellite TV software and watch hundreds of live worldwide channels on your PC free of charge. Visit Satellite TV for PC

Free Satellite TV for PC: The Advantage of Satellite TV for PC

Years ago you can only enjoy satellite TV if you subscribe on Satellite TV providers and have a dish installed or mounted outdoors without obstruction from southern view to get good transmission from the satellite. You will even secure a landlord permit for the installation if you don’t own the place. But now, due to 7yrs of dedicated research and development, free satellite TV for PC is possible without the installation of the dish or paying for monthly subscription to satellite TV providers. You only need your PC, internet and satellite TV software and instantly you will enjoy watching your favorite shows, games and movies via free satellite TV for PC.

You may wonder why you would want to have a free satellite TV for PC. Are there advantages or benefits having a free satellite TV for PC? Here are some of the benefits of free satellite TV for PC:

100% Legal and Guaranteed. This free satellite TV for PC is 100% legal and you don’t have to worry about any legality issues. You can sit back relax and enjoy your free satellite TV anytime without worries.

No extra hardware needed. You don’t need a dish installed in your place; no need to worry if you have a clear southern sky and you don’t have to secure a landlord permit. You also don’t have to buy a TV card for your PC. All you need is your PC, internet and your satellite TV software and in minutes you will have your free satellite TV for PC.

Works anywhere in the world. Get channels from 78 countries around the world. You can watch TV in English, Spanish, German, Arabic, French, Italian, Russian, Dutch and more.

Thousands of stations. Get over 3,000 stations on your PC or laptop. You can watch anything you want. Enjoy over 60 movie channels of action, comedy, romance and any genre you like. There are over 70 sports channels for any sport you can think of like ultimate fighting, martial arts, wrestling, boxing etc. You can enjoy the hottest music videos all over the world and you can even have access to radio stations from around the world. You can also enjoy premium channels, kids channels, educational, religious, shopping, news, weather, politics and you can even watch channels you can’t get from cable or satellite provider.

Big savings. Pay only a one time small set up fee and no recurring charges. You only have to pay for the installation software for a one time set up fee and you will enjoy all free satellite TV for PC channels. No subscription or recurring charges. After a one time payment, there are no recurring charges ever.

Why pay over $90 per month on cable or satellite services when you can have it for free? No monthly payment just a one time payment and you can enjoy a lifetime access to free satellite TV for PC. More than 1 million users are enjoying free satellite TV for PC to find out more visit Satellite TV for PC

Free Satellite TV for PC - How to Have Satellite TV on Your PC

Satellite TV delivers 100% digital audio and video. Usually satellite TV can be viewed with the installation of satellite dish and subscription from satellite TV providers but due to dedicated years of research and development free satellite TV for PC is now possible.

Free satellite TV for PC is now gaining popularity and there are compelling reasons why more and more people are switching to free satellite TV for PC and here are some of the reasons:

One reason why people are drawn to free satellite TV for PC is that majority of people owns a computer and it’s an additional option if you get to watch satellite TV on your own PC. If you have a laptop you can watch your favorite game via free satellite TV for PC while traveling.

Of course if majority of people owns a PC, they also have access with the internet. Satellite TV for PC needs internet instead of the dish installed in your place. It’s a lot easier than having a dish installed in your place. Dish installation needs permission from your landlord if you don’t own the place and it needs a clear southern view for good transmission. If you have free satellite TV for PC you don’t have to worry about dish installation.

No additional hardware for your PC if you will watch free satellite TV for PC. You don’t need to install a TV tuner or additional hardware. Aside from the internet connection you only need a Satellite TV Software. Just install the software and it is very easy to use and you’ll be watching free satellite TV for PC instantly after software installation.

No subscription needed and no recurring charges. You can get all the entertainment you need for just one time payment for the software. No monthly or recurring charges. Once the software is installed you can have access on free satellite TV for PC.

Large selection of TV stations. You can enjoy over 3000 stations, 100% legal and it works anywhere in the world. You can watch hundreds of live worldwide channels on your PC which include live games, sports, news, kid’s channels and a lot more.

Free Satellite TV for PC is definitely a convenient and easiest way to have full access to entertainment, news, sports and information at home or while traveling with your laptop for a small one time fee.

Just think, for the price of movie tickets for your family you could watch over 3000 stations on your PC or laptop forever. More than 1 million users are already enjoying the incredible variety. To know more about free satellite TV for PC visit Satellite TV for PC

Best Satellite TV Offer: Watch Free Satellite TV on PC

Are you looking for the best entertainment? If you are not yet captivated with satellite TV craze, this is your chance to catch up with the latest trends and watch free satellite TV on PC. Advance technology and 7 years of dedicated research and development made it possible to watch free satellite TV on PC.

Traditional Satellite TV is a TV broadcasting delivered by satellite through the use of dish. Satellite dish should be mounted outdoors without any obstruction to the southern sky (like trees, mountains and tall buildings) to receive signals from satellite. There’s no doubt that satellite TV brings unlimited fun and entertainment, but in order to continue to enjoy your satellite TV, of course you need to pay your satellite TV provider with a monthly fee.

For the longest time people don’t have other option for satellite TV, but technology has changed and now there is another option for viewing satellite TV. Now you can watch satellite TV on PC. You can watch free satellite TV on PC and you don’t have to worry about dish installation or unobstructed southern view. You don’t need additional hardware to watch free satellite TV on PC; all you need is the Elite Edition Satellite TV Software and your internet connection. This satellite TV software already includes over 3000 TV stations which are 100% legal and available anywhere in the world.

Maybe it’s unbelievable that you can watch free satellite TV on PC, but its’ true. This is the reason why satellite TV on PC is such a craze because you don’t need to pay monthly bills. Just a one time payment for the satellite TV software and you will enjoy your satellite TV without monthly charges.

Convenience and big savings are just two of the best benefits brought by satellite TV on PC. Why pay over $90 monthly on satellite TV when you can have it for free. Did you know that millions of people are now enjoying free satellite TV on PC? Don’t miss this chance to get over 3000 stations and watch free satellite TV on PC visit Satellite TV for PC

Best Satellite TV Deals: Watch Satellite TV on Your Computer

If you haven’t heard about Satellite TV on PC, this is your chance to find out how to watch satellite TV on your computer. Yes, you can watch satellite TV on your computer and this will get you more benefits than satellite TV with a dish. With advance technology and years of dedicated research and development, it is now possible to watch satellite TV on your computer.

There are two options to watch satellite TV, one is satellite TV with dish installed by satellite TV providers like Direct TV and Dish Network and another is of course by watching satellite TV on your computer. Satellite TV on computer is very popular now because it offers great convenience and benefits to users. Although you still have the option to choose what kind of satellite TV you want, there is nothing wrong to evaluate things before you get one. Here are some of the considerations that you have to look at:

For Satellite TV with dish, of course a dish will be installed in your place. If you don’t own the place you need to secure a permit from the landlord for the installation of the dish. Your location must be free from obstructions like trees, tall buildings and mountains or else it is not possible for you to have your satellite TV because dish needs unobstructed southern view to communicate with the satellite. When you are all set with your dish and enjoying your satellite TV, of course you have an obligation to pay the satellite TV providers with a monthly subscription fee, around $90 per month.

On the other hand, if you want to watch satellite TV on your computer, you don’t need a dish installed and you don’t have to install additional hardware. All you need is an internet connection and Satellite TV software and you can watch satellite TV on your computer and enjoy more than 3000 TV stations. It’s 100% legal and it works anywhere in the world. Plus, you don’t have to worry about monthly bills. If you want to watch satellite TV on your computer, you don’t have an obligation to pay monthly bills, just a one time payment for the software and you will enjoy free satellite TV anytime.

The above mentioned considerations will help you decide what satellite TV option is best for you. But did you know that thousands of people are now enjoying watching satellite TV on their computers? If you want to watch satellite TV on your computer and free yourself from monthly bills visit Satellite TV for PC

Best Satellite TV Deal

Satellite TV brings more entertainment options to millions of people around the world that even raw news are possible to be seen. Today the companies offering satellite TV services in the US are Direct TV and Dishnetwork. These two companies brought TV satellite to every home in America and made TV viewing more enjoyable. The best satellite TV deal for others.

Along with the popularity of Satellite TV, internet has evolved too. The use and benefits of internet now is limitless. More people are spending enormous amount of time in front of their computers to email their friends, to chat or use instant messaging, to read news, to play games and other stuffs in the internet. But what can you say about having a satellite TV on your PC? Isn’t that the best satellite TV deal you could ever have? Using the internet and watching your satellite TV at the same time is the best satellite TV deal that you could ever have.

If you want to subscribe for Satellite TV services from the above mentioned companies, you need to request for the installation of satellite dish in your home and pay monthly fees which ranges from $30-$90 per month. But did you know that you could get the best satellite TV deal without paying monthly fees? Yes, it’s true it is possible and you can still enjoy all the entertainment and information that Satellite TV offers.

The best satellite TV deal now is satellite TV on your PC, isn’t that cool? You can use your PC surfing the internet and yet you can still watch satellite TV simultaneously without paying extra bills for your satellite TV. Isn’t that the best satellite TV deal? This satellite TV on your PC was made possible by Elite Edition Satellite TV Software. The best satellite TV deal that you could have with over 3000 stations on your PC or laptop with just one time payment and you can watch thousands of live worldwide channels on your PC or laptop from sports, news, movies, music, kids channels, shopping, educational information plus radio stations and a lot more. It is 100% legal and works anywhere in the world and no extra hardware or TV card required. You don’t have to buy a PC TV card, you just need an internet connection and this Elite Edition Satellite TV Software and you can turn your PC into a satellite TV. You can free yourself from extra monthly bills or recurring charges. Once you have the software, you have nothing else to pay ever.

Free yourself from additional monthly charges and still enjoy the best entertainment you could have right straight to your own living room visit Satellite TV for PC

Satellite TV on Your PC- Free Yourself from Monthly Bills

Satellite TV has gained popularity now in America with almost every home having this satellite dishes reaching even rural places where cable companies are not able to reach, bringing movies, television shows, sports, news in their living room from around the globe.

Satellite TV, as the word implies is a TV broadcasting delivered by satellites. To receive signals from satellite you need a receiver, a dish and remote which will be provided if you subscribe for a Satellite TV Services. The dish should be mounted outdoors without any obstruction (trees, buildings etc) to south where dish should be pointed to receive signals from the satellite.

If you want to subscribe for Satellite TV Services, you have to comply on the following requirements: have an accessible location for the dish with unobstructed southern exposure, landlord permission, residence must be wired with RG-6 Coaxial cable, a resident of US and of course you have to pay the monthly bills. Subscription from Satellite TV services ranges from $30- $90 per month.

But did you know that you could have a Satellite TV right straight to your living room without complying with the above requirements, without the hassle of installation and without paying monthly subscription? Isn’t that good to know? You can turn your PC into a satellite TV and enjoy over 3000 stations totally for free. In this age of internet where PC or laptops are very much in use, it is more practical to use and turn your PC or laptop into satellite TV. All you need is a software with one time payment and you don’t have to worry about the monthly bills and still enjoy watching satellite TV.

Aside from freeing yourself from monthly bills, there are also a lot of advantages of satellite TV software, another advantage is that you don’t need to purchase an extra hardware to make it work into your PC or laptop, you just have to download the software and in minutes you can watch over 3000 stations on your PC or laptops for free. It’s perfectly legal and it works anywhere in the world. Of course you need an internet connection, mine is broadband and the quality of video and audio I am enjoying is second to none.

Looking for better entertainment? Don’t want to pay the monthly bills? Turn your PC into satellite TV and you will get what you are looking for. Why pay when you can get it for free.

For more information visit Satellite TV for PC

Best Satellite TV Offer: Watch Free Satellite TV on PC

Are you looking for the best entertainment? If you are not yet captivated with satellite TV craze, this is your chance to catch up with the latest trends and watch free satellite TV on PC. Advance technology and 7 years of dedicated research and development made it possible to watch free satellite TV on PC.

Traditional Satellite TV is a TV broadcasting delivered by satellite through the use of dish. Satellite dish should be mounted outdoors without any obstruction to the southern sky (like trees, mountains and tall buildings) to receive signals from satellite. There’s no doubt that satellite TV brings unlimited fun and entertainment, but in order to continue to enjoy your satellite TV, of course you need to pay your satellite TV provider with a monthly fee.

For the longest time people don’t have other option for satellite TV, but technology has changed and now there is another option for viewing satellite TV. Now you can watch satellite TV on PC. You can watch free satellite TV on PC and you don’t have to worry about dish installation or unobstructed southern view. You don’t need additional hardware to watch free satellite TV on PC; all you need is the Elite Edition Satellite TV Software and your internet connection. This satellite TV software already includes over 3000 TV stations which are 100% legal and available anywhere in the world.

Maybe it’s unbelievable that you can watch free satellite TV on PC, but its’ true. This is the reason why satellite TV on PC is such a craze because you don’t need to pay monthly bills. Just a one time payment for the satellite TV software and you will enjoy your satellite TV without monthly charges.

Convenience and big savings are just two of the best benefits brought by satellite TV on PC. Why pay over $90 monthly on satellite TV when you can have it for free. Did you know that millions of people are now enjoying free satellite TV on PC? Don’t miss this chance to get over 3000 stations and watch free satellite TV on PC visit Satellite TV for PC

Achmed does Christmas

Merry Christmas from Eish!! ... and the crew

Bodybuilder takes over Zoopy.com

Not too sure what to say ... while doing more regular browse through Zoopy.com I was faced with the scenes below!

Seems like the jocks are taking over cyberspace!

Eish's ultimate Christmas wishlist

With just a few days to Christmas, I thought I would assist all the Eish!! readers who wish to send Eishman a little Christmas gift.

Green Travel

With the oil price destined to stay at the current level for ... well ... er ... ever an electric car seems to me to be the way of the future. So why not get one that can get to 60mph in less than 4 secs and look,s good doing it?
Top of the list must the Telsa Roadster.

Price : Around R800 000-00


Internet Tablet

I am extremely happy with my current cellphone, so I have decided to add the Nokia N810 internet tablet onto the list instead of a new phone.

Internet browsing, WiFi connectivity, GPS functionality, widescreen format, mp3 playback, podcast aggregation with a qwerty keyboard. I actually like the fact that there is no phone functionality. This allows your phone to be a phone and this becomes your browser and organiser, but ... it is fully Skype compatible!

Price : +/- R3400

Home Entertainment

While I am an audiophile, the technical stuff goes way over my head. What I have managed to do is put together my dream home theater system. Again let me stress this has been put together based on nothing other than my limited understanding of the technical stuff and, of course, looks so if you feel there are better component combinations feel free to make changes.

Plasma : Panansonic TH-65PZ750U : At 65 inches and 1080p, and good looks, this should fit nicely into my lounge home.

Price : +/- R63 000










Amplifier : Halcro DM58 : Rated by more than one reviewer as the best amplifier ever, who am I to argue.

Price : +/- R539 000














Speakers : Martin Logan Purity : When it comes to speakers looks are really important. I found this to be extremely well spec.ed and beatiful to look at.

Price : +/- R23 100

Sub : MartinLogan Abyss : +/- R8 000













Universal Remote

Of course with all the above one needs a beautiful and functional remote. Philips' Pronto TSU9600 fits the bill perfectly. It will replace my current table full of remotes, is fully customizable and, of course, looks good.

Price : +/- R9500





Personal Internet Player

Now here's something I received an 'exclusive' invite to purchase and actually attempted to order, but due to them not been able to ship outside the US I lost out. A Chumby is a marketed as a Personal Internet Player. It's simply a widget driven wireless receiver. It has an alarm clock, plays mp3's, internet radio, accepts rss feeds and it's little screen displays anything from the weather to photos, pretty much anything that you can find a widget for.

Price : +/- R1300

Gaming

Of course what Christmas wishlist in 2007 would be complete without the Nintendo Wii? I am not a gamer by any stretch of the imagination, but the physical nature of the game play appeals to me ... and wouldn't it look good on the 65 inch plasma?

Price : R2900










I hope there's enough there for you to mull over, my postal address is : 1 Whishfullthynking Avenue, Itlnevrhapn, 7975.

... Oh! I nearly forgot to add peace and goodwill to all mankind ...

Give Eskom the finger ... install your own Nuclear Reactor

Toshiba, Japan have developed a Micro Nuclear Reactor capable of powering an apartment building or a city block for 40 years, without needing refueling. With a footprint of just 11 square meters, it is engineered to be fail-safe, totally automatic and will not overheat.
"Unlike traditional nuclear reactors the new micro reactor uses no control rods to initiate the reaction. The new revolutionary technology uses reservoirs of liquid lithium-6, an isotope that is effective at absorbing neutrons. The Lithium-6 reservoirs are connected to a vertical tube that fits into the reactor core." www.nextenergynews.com
It is claimed to produce electricity for 35c per kilowatt hour.
Toshiba aims to install it's first reactor in Japan in 2008 and beginning worldwide marketing in 2009.

Anyone want to go halvies??

SAReunited advertises on it's adversary

There was been a fair amount of comment here at Eish!! over the future of SAReunited.com ever since my first post 'Is there a future for SAReunited.com' even drawing comment from the one of the co-founders.
The original article centred around the fact the emergence of Facebook would ultimately make SARenuited defunct.
So I couldn't help but chuckle when I saw the following in my Facebook feed. Nothing like using your competition to get traction! It seems as if they are not going down without a fight, good on them.

SA Music Downloads, free & legal

Never has there been a better showcase for SA music. Free music downloads are a great way to introduce potential fans to new bands. Barney Simon and the guys from powerzone.co.za have not only figured this out, but they have clearly managed to convince some serious players in the SA music industry of this reality.
You can go to www.powerzone.co.za and download singles from the likes of The Parlotones, The Finkelsteins, Evolver, Fevertree & Jo Day, to name just a few.
Quality local music ... for free.

Click here to go directly to the downloads page.

Radio 2000 has had its critics of late, for their perceived capitulation to the sugar pop music machine, however it is still the place where you are going to find the highest percentage of good local SA rock. Now you can go online and listen from anywhere in the world, they are finally streaming there broadcast. Those of you not in SA here are my picks (SA Times) :

• The Rise and Rock (A little weak, but you are guaranteed a couple of gems every now and again) - 6am to 9am Weekdays
• The Lucky Packet (Michelle Constant) -12pm to 3pm Weekdays
• SA Music Show (Barney Simon) - 8pm to 11pm Tuesdays
• Rock of Ages (Benjy Mudie) - 8pm to 12am Thursdays
• The MAD Show (Doug Anderson) - 12pm to 2pm Saturdays
  

Diamonds & Dust

You have just three days to experience a truly remarkable trip through the recent South African history of song and music.
Last Saturday, I was privileged to watch Diamonds & Dust, a musical presented at the Barnyard Theatre in Willowbridge, Cape Town. What a joyful emotional rollercoaster ride. We were treated to renditions of Bright Blue's 'Weeping', The Lion Sleeps Tonight, Paradise Road and couple of Johnny Clegg classics, not to mention some Miriam Makeba thrown in for good measure. The song choice was spectacular, the production a peach and the talent on stage astounding. Do yourself a favour grab the last couple of tickets available, pack a picnic basket and go and experience the great music South Africa has produced.(As far as I know this is still the only stage show endorsed by Proudly South Africa) The show's run ends on Saturday the 15th December.
Those of you in the UK and The Netherlands, keep an eye on your local event guides, this production is going to be touring your shores early next year.

For more info click here.

Pole dance lesson goes wrong (Video)

A 'Boney M' Anti-dote

As a music appreciator, I find December a tough month. If having to join the hordes at the malls isn't torturous enough, having to put up with cheesy 'Christmas' music and, of course, the inevitable Boney M onslaught rapidly diminishes my Yuletide spirit.
Last year, however I discovered a musical anti-dote. The Podsafe Christmas podcast. It's back again this year. Hosted by one of the podcasting pioneers Ed Roberts, Podsafe Christmas is a daily 15-2omin music show packed full of new original and public domain Christmas songs. Do yourself a favour and visit podsafechristmas.com and check out the shows that have already being posted, the daily shows started on the 23rd November. There are already some classics that have been included like Jill Parr's 'Do you hear what I here'[Episode 11] , Twisted Sister's 'O Come All Ye Faithful'[Episode 7], The Candy Butcher's 'Give me a second chance for Christmas' and Slau's charity song 'If everyday were Christmas'
You can listen to the shows at the site, but there are also various methods you can use to subscribe and get all the future shows downloaded onto your pc, you can even get it mailed to you.

If you really enjoy this type of thing go and visit LifeSpring's podcast Advent calendar. Another daily podcast where the hosts talk around Christmas traditions around the world and their origins and meanings.

This is one addictive Kitty

Click here, but be warned you be never return.

Free (& legal) Plain White T's

I think it's fair to say that 'Hey there Delilah' by the Plain White T's has become a pretty massive hit here in SA. Probably to the point of the being overplayed.

I was pleasantly surprised to find that eMusic offers the entire EP for download.

eMusic is a subscription based music download site, for $9.99 a month you can download 30 mp3's from a whole host of artists. The site depends on buy in from record companies and it's fairly obviously that you are not going to get a Beyonce or Celine Dion single for download, but there are some pretty big names and alot of awesome music. They are after all the world's largest distributor of independent music,with more than 2 million tracks and 13 000 record labels on their books.
Those artists that have caught my eye include Frankie goes to Hollywood, Pink Floyd, Aimee Man, James Taylor, Creedance Clearwater Revival, Twisted Sister and a whole load of new artists I have no knowledge of and affinity for.

But I did add in the title of the post that you could get the Plain White T's download for free and legally. Here's how : simply sign up and you will be given a free trial period. You can then utilise this trial period and download the track(s) of your choice. Then you can cancel your account, however if you are a music lover like me you will gladly continue you subscription.

'Green' car lands artist in court (Video)

Artist Michel de Broin is taking the fight against the fine given to his self-propelled car for being unsafe to the Toronto courts.

As far as he is concerned there's nothing unlawful about it, it being the an exhibition peace for a local gallery.

... as the oil price climbs, perhaps this is the future?

Google's Gdrive on it's way

Google is planning an imminent launch of an online storage offering , reportedly to be called GDrive.
While it is already possible, albeit difficult to use a Gmail account to store files using utilities like gDisk, this is going to make it easy to upload, use and download your files. Google does face two major hurdles though. There is currently a myriad of players in this market including xDrive, Omnidrive, allmydata, mozy, myotherdrive etc, and Google breaking into this market is going to face the same problem as these companies do, trying to convince potential users that there files are secure.
Having said that there is a fair bit to be said about the potential synergies that Google will be able to leverage. Users of the various online Google applications will be able to be utilise the online storage for the files and, of course, access them anywhere they might find themselves with internet access.
As always South Africans will need bigger pipes and more substantial bandwidth before this becomes something that will be able to be used regularly.

Give a car a name

I have just entered a rather fun competition. Imagine driving around town and seeing cars with a silver name badge reading something you came up with?
Renault are running a competition allowing you to do just that. Name the new Renault Scenic 4x2 and you will have the use of the vehicle for a month along with R1000-00 to go towards the petrol costs.

Click here to enter ... and if you happen to win, please let me know.

How fast can you type?

I found this rather addictive website, speedtest.10-fast-fingers.com
You have 1 minute to type as many words as you can. Give it a go, it's a great way to up the typing skills we all need to desperately. For those of you with a little more time there are even soome online tutorials.

Want to swim this summer?

Eish!! does try to focus in good SA stories, but it seems this week you will have to mosey on down to SARocks for that, because it's time for another rant. Two in one week.

Newlands swimming pool was once, many years ago, one of the country's premier facilities. It has slowly, for a variety of reasons, many totally understandable fallen out of favour. the upshot being tt now closes in April and only reopens at the beginning of summer.

Now the rant. We are very rapidly nearing 1 December, and the pool is still not open. The sign you see is the hand written notice on the front door, pasted above the official notice that the pool will be closing in April 2007 for the 'off-season.'

Not one for relying on rumours, I gave them a call.

• When will the open? 'Not sure.'
• Why have they not opened the pool then? 'The tiles ... there are quite a few that need to be fixed ... the contractors that are still busy and we are not sure how long it will take'
• But you have been closed since April? 'Ja, but a lot of people have asked that ... you know how the council works.'

Actually no, does the council work?

What they have done is paint the outside walls ... orange and green ... why?

AMA's, proof of the sad, sad state of the American music scene

For months I have listened podcasts based in the US talking about the demise of the music industry. Last night, as I tried to watch the American Music Awards, I understood.

As I tried to listen to the 'songs' being performed it became evident that not only was the production bad, the vocals shocking but, not since the sixties, has there been such a plethora of bad, corny lyrics. Only four and a half decades ago the pop music genre itself was pushing boundaries.

I only managed to watch about an hour and a half of the show, most of it shaking my head in amazement, but in that time for me the best performance was ironically a duet by Rihanna and Neyo (I think that's his name). I say ironically, because Eishman finds her voice extremely irritating and always reaches for the dial when one of her songs are played on the radio. Her voice is almost as irritating as Celine Dion live, unable to hide behind the recording process, man she sounds bad!

To top it off, for me, Beyonce was given some international artist award (See how interested I was?) that has only been given to 5 previous artists ... to the best of my recollection they included Led Zeppelin, The Bee Gees, Michael Jackson & Aerosmith ... surely Beyonce isn't in this league?

The sad thing is, there are so many independent artists writing and performing, thought provoking, inspiring, melodic and entertaining songs across the genres that struggle to get recognition while this bunch rake in the millions and praise themselves. There are artists all of Africa creating innovative pieces of music, hey Anna? Even here at home there are artists across genres doing great things. I have been listening to music from the Podsafe Music Network for some time now, and have enjoyed discovering musicians from all over the world doing things for themselves, eeking out a living for the sake of their art. Something that used to be regarded as a right of passage for a successful musician.

I am an avid Idols watcher, even though it does bug me that the franchise is churning out karaoke 'stars' who can't read, never mind write music, having watched the AMA's last night, perhaps Idols SA ain't all that bad ... maybe ... (On a side note wasn't it great hearing a contestant finally, after many seasons of trying nailing Allanah Myle's Black Velvet?)

To top it all off, the non-descript presenter, clearly wasn't joking when he mentioned that he was also a writer ... on strike.

4 ways to find your way ... on your mobile ... for free!

There's no need to get lost, ever. As long as you have your cellphone on you, you will always be able to find your way home ... even if you want to keep your pride intact and not call for help.

I have found 4 applications you can download to your phone, to use for directions. While most of them can be used in conjunction with GPS systems, most of us do not have this functionality on our phones, so I have decided to check how they work sans GPS in South Africa. I stay in a relatively new area, pretty far south down the Cape Peninsula, in a road that is often not found in maps so as an extra test I have checked to see which ones help me find home. I am no expert when it comes to navigation software or cellphone applications so feel free to read through my quick summaries, then pop over to the vendor's website and make up your own mind which one works for you.

Google Maps : An obvious place to start. Menu's nice and easy to follow, just a pity that finding local (South African) addresses was tough, I kept on landing in cities around the globe when searching for local streets. Manual navigation took me pretty close to home, pretty quickly, but left me high and dry 1 kilometer short.

Wayfinder Earth Beta : This application has a nice easy on the eye user interface, with a couple of cool features like local weather at a touch of a button. It was perhaps a little difficult to figure out address searches for my liking though. It had my little cul-de-sac in it's database though.



Nav4All : Now we're talking. This boykie has an extensive database, my address included and gives you directions from point A to B without too much problem. The maps load nice an quickly and being in South Africa does not mean you are counted as a lesser class world citizen. As is the case with my personal favourite ...



AmAze : Firstly the clever name means it sits at the top of my applications menu. The maps are not just easy to read but are actually pretty. My home was easy to find as were directions from home to all over the city, whats more with a click you can get to see an aerial photo/street map hybrid of your route and/or destination (with a little weather/wind indicator flashing in the top right) . Truly awesome.

Just as a point of reference, my tests were done on a Sony Ericsson K800i, using the free versions of the software.

Rate SA's cabinet

Today the DA (Democratic Alliance) launched the Cabinet Report Card website for 2007. The idea is to give the 'public' a chance to rate the performance of the various members of the cabinet.
The results of the survey will be included in the DA's annual cabinet report card. It may not be very scientific and the control group not very representative, but hey, it is just a small way of giving your voice, particularly if it's a positive one. The DA has opened themselves to allowing the average ratings to be updates in real time, so they cannot hide a overwhelmingly good rating, should there be one ... or two ...

Agree with the policies or practices of the DA or not, there's no request to identify yourself, so there's not need to nail your colours to the mast.

Interested? Click here.

Download Online Video

How often do you see a video on a site and you really wish you could download it and keep it in a safe place. Us bandwidth starved South African have the additional problem in that every time we show someone that cool, interesting short we eat into a meager monthly cap.
So wouldn't it be preferable to rather download the video once?
Clearly there are many that think so, as it is something I am regularly asked. So here is the answer Keepvid.com

It takes just three simple steps.

1. This is probably the most complicated. Locate the exact url of the video. This is not necessarily the website or blog website you find the video so you may need to click on the video or navigate to the host site.
2. Copy the link and paste it into the textbox at the top of the site.
3. You will be given a link to click on and download.

Enjoy.

2 great Cape Town webcams

Webcams seem to have fallen out of favour as the Internet has evolved. But I still think there is a place for them. They are small, speckled, jerky windows into places far away. I love to pop into webcams stationed in areas where people I know live, particularly if I have never been to said place.
Oddly though my favourite webcam is stationed just 3kms from my home. It saves me from opening the curtain to see what the weather is like. The BayWatch.tv webcam is stationed at the Bayside Restaurant in Fish Hoek.
To view click here.

Then there is one I only discovered today. It got me rechecking all my old favourites and will become one I will check regularly. Hosted by www.kapstadt.de it is situated in Milnerton and faces Table Mountain. It is a reminder of the beauty of city in which I am privileged to live.
To view click here.

Friday Video - Dog drives car

jakemuststay.co.za ... have you say

Two rugby fans, Keith Lindsay and Simon Mantell has started a website www.jakemuststay.co.za affording rugby fans a platform to show their support for the incumbent Bok coach, or against the the current group of rugby administrators.

While I still think taking to the streets is going to be a whole lot more powerful than a few thousand internet votes, this is a start, so join me and click here and vote for Jake ... then tell your friends.

Jake sends SA Rugby fans a glimmer of hope

Keo.co.za writes that Jake White's agent Craig Livingstone has confirmed that he will not be applying for the Wallabies coaching job and is 'also unlikely to pursue a career with Wales.' He apparently intends to take a six month break until deciding on a where-to-from-here.

So, fellow Springbok fans, there is still a chance that we have not lost uncle Jake quite yet. Eishman has always felt that the best place for him is in a more overseeing/mentor director of coaching position. It's obvious to me that while the current administrators are in office this will not happen, so perhaps it's time to mobilise.

SA Rubgy is supposed to represent the multitudes that took to the streets last week in support of the bokke, clearly they do not. So why not see those multitudes back on the streets? This time in protest? Let's get these morons out of their cushy offices, and get in people that have our mandate and do what it best for the national interest?

Bored at the office?

Very sharp ... (PIC)

The following banner was spotted during Monday's Springbok parade through Cape Town. Very, very sharp from the guys @ BBDO.

Do you click the ads?

A few weeks ago I was listening to my weekly dose of This Week in Tech and one of the contributors mentioned that when visiting websites, he generally will click on a banner ad, just as a way of supporting the website/blog owner. As he said it's no real skin off his back and, who knows maybe he will luck upon a product or service that maybe useful.

I must say that this is not something I tend to think of doing, but it's something that has been nagging at the back of my head ever since that episode. Maybe I should be clicking on my fellow blogger's adverts.

Obviously Eish!! has banner ads, and it's always nice to know that people click on them and once or twice even buy something from the advertiser, but I never saw this as been a massive money spinner, just a way of maybe eventually paying for the hosting fees that will be accruing shortly.

So my question is simple, do you click on the ads ... ever? If so, why did/do you?

Wanted : Fit pool guy

I received the pictures below in an email and couldn't help but assume they had to be photo-shopped (or Gimped).

So I did some trawling and let me assure you this is the real thing! The resort, San Alfonso del Mar, is in Chile and what you see is the pool that hold the official Guinness World Record for the world's largest. It's is 8 hectares in size (that means you can fit about 6000 standard household pools and still have some change), 1km long and holds 250 000 cubic meters of water. It cost $1 billion to build and is estimated to cost $4 million a year to maintain.

All I think of is the length of the Kreepy's pipe?

Wanna race to the other side?

Zapiro helps sober the Jubilation

Click on the image below for an truly excellent piece of Zapiro-ism.

Define me a "Good Hijacking"

As we mourn the death of one of the South Africa's most loved musicians, I find myself asking this question?
As the reports emerged of his untimely death the various correspondents kept on referring to 'a carjacking gone bad.'

Please someone help me understand when can a carjacking/hijacking be good?

RIP Lucky. (Pay and read online tributes here)

Podcamp Cape Town Wrap

I have been scanning the various blog articles posted by fellow attendees of Podcamp Cape Town. All have been gushingly positive and extremely pleased with the way the day turned out.

So let's step back and take an overall view of the event. Firstly, it was disappointing to see the table's worth of unclaimed name tags (with 100 free Skyrove units). By our table's estimation close to a third of the confirmed attendees did not pitch (Glen, Max feel free to correct me). Sure it was Springbok rugby day, but Glen had been gracious enough to set a 5 o'clock time limit on an event which for all intents and purposes could have been an all weekend affair. Perhaps this is the problem with an event that proudly proclaims that there is no entrance fee? When no bucks have been laid out there isn't the same level of commitment to attend? In the same vein, many attendees left during or just after lunch, eager to get to the World Cup braais. The irony is that this was just the time where people were starting to get into the swing of what an un-conference was. The vibe was uber-relaxed, and participation felt a whole lot less intimidating.

Secondly, there were a couple of talks which seemed more like a sales pitch than discussion openers or network invitations. They could have learnt a lot from Jeremy Nell who entertained, informed and inspired while explaining his 'brand' without attempting to sell anything.

So now over to the positives. This 'little pioneering community' lacks nothing when it comes to enthusiam, innovative thinking, entrepeneurship, intellect and creativity. The excitement that resonated every time a speaker mentioned something that stretched the mind was palpable, and I just know that the 'new media' space in South Africa is going to see the results of those few hours spent in Obs.

While I took copious notes, I would be unable to provide a short summary of all the speaker's contributions. Those that stood out for was Dave Duarte's look at 'The Attention Economy', Brad Shrimpton's little insight into Apple IMC SA, Rowan of MyVideo's look at the quandry facing tose looking ot monetize online offerings in the new media space and of course Jeremy Nell's refreshingly unself-edifying 'talk' on comic-blogging.

I reckon it's a fair generalisation to say that all those attending left the venue enthused, motivated and, where necessary, rejuvenated, ready to get their teeth into the opportunites this 'new media' space offers to those willing to commit to it. To say that this space is still in it's infancy here in South Africa is probably an understatement, but be sure things are changing and do yourself a favour, mark down the names of attendees somewhere safe, these guys are going to become the movers and shakers.

So, hopefully, I have given a balanced take on the Podcamp Cape Town un-conference. Those of you who missed it, missed out, make sure you do not next time such an opportunity presents itself. Glen, Max & sponsors thanks for the commitment, hard work and dough you ploughed into this project. Eishman truly enjoyed the experience and appreciated your efforts.

Looking forward to the next one!

Oh, and one more critiscm ... not nearly enough beer was consumed ... this needs to be fixed next time!

A Monday Mashup

Eishman is a little under the weather (nothing to do with the rugby, I promise) and I now have a backload of posts so you should be getting a some good content this week. But I haven't been able to concentrate long enough to organise the info into coherent sentences, so I have decided to simply give you a mashup I came across for all of you who remember the 80's.



This forms part of a downloadable cd 'Best of Bootie 2006.' Download here.

South Africa celebrates (Video)

Zoopy captures the Rugby World Cup celebrations as South Africa goes 'mal'.

Podcamp Cape Town - First Impression

Attending a conference, even an unconference on a day where the Boks are on the brink of greatness, feels a little odd, and I can't but feel it's contributing to the 'muteness' of the day so far.
Arriving felt almost to conference-like, too organised, but fortunately that is all dissipating now has we progress through morning. The relaxed vibe is enhanced by the fact that today is rapidly becoming a classic Cape Town summer day, with the temperature rapidly on it's way to the predicted 30+ degrees celsius and a light, refreshing breeze wafting through windows and Wild Fig's tree lined porch.

PodCampTown, is an unconference. There is no set speaker list, willing participants are encouraged to write their name on a supplied whiteboard and are called up when and if they are necessary. The presentations can be on whatever enthuses them.

So far we have heard a talk by Rowan @ MyVideo on new media, with specific focus on the challenges facing providers, producers & consumers here South Africa.

We have also heard Brad from Apple IMC chat to us about Podcasting opportunities in and around education. It was, as he admitted, gratiously 'Apple', but it was nonetheless inspiring to see what the future role of the new media technologies will have on education.

The joys of the unconference is the lack of expectations. The amount of time it can take to get a laptop plugged into a projector and showing up on the screen just adds to the vibe and gives the attendees a chance to interact with each other,

All in all, it seems that the organisers are achieving their aims, I am certainly looking forward to what the rest of the days holds.

Gee die bal vir Bryan

How cool would it be if a record-breaking try by Bryan Habana was the difference between the 2 sides tomorrow?

Click play and enjoy what is sure to become a South African classic.

[Eish's prediction for tomorrow : South African 18 England 10]



Feel free to download here.

Very clever animation

10 ways to show your support for the Bokke!!

1. Send a message to the bok camp, by clicking here and/or here.
   
2. Make the Springbok emblem your Facebook profile pic.[ Facebook group here.]
3. Pay you taxes [ Mbeki set to jet off to support Boks]
4. Join the official Springbok fan club.
5. Plaster your desktop with Springbok Rugby wallpapers.
6. Download the SA Rugby active desktop.
7. Plaster you cellphone with Bok stuff
   
8. Upload pictures of you in your supporters card @ myrugbynews.com
9. Wear Green on Friday & Saturday
10. Practice the national anthem

Blog Action Day - Should we bother?

Today is Blog Action Day. Eish!! like 15861 other blogs, pledged to post an article that had something to say about the environment.

The environment effects a substantial part of all our daily lives in an infinite amount of ways. In turn, what we do each day effects the environment for better or for worse in just as many ways. So how do you decide where to start and what to focus on, particularly if your offering varies as much as Eish!! endeavours to.

As tempting as it is to simply point to you to this post, or this one or even this one, I will actually add my own personal voice to roaring masses.

Let's start by trying to understand what important the environmental issues are and to whom?

Think about it for a while ....

In fact, let's narrow it down a little and simply ask 'to whom?' Then let's take Al Gore out of the equation ;-)

It's a well known and documented fact the majority of the world's wealth is owned by a very, very small number of individuals. These blokes hold the power and make the decisions that effect millions of peoples lives. Is the environment high on their priority list? Maybe even somewhere in the middle? I doubt it. After all worrying about the environmental effect the industrial behemoths under their control have on the environment will cost their bottom line, just considering it means paying very expensive environmental impact specialists a fair whack, just to be told that they need to spend enough to support a small African country to become 'carbon neutral.'

So what about the demographic that holds the largest number of homo sapiens? That would be a group of people who have to worry about where the next mouthful of food will be coming from. The plastic bag flying past, the smokey exhaust, an iceberg floating too far north all pale into insignificance when compared with the sight of your child on the brink of starvation.

So that leaves a group of people, small in numbers and with a relatively minute amount of resources to try and make a difference. What do we have at our disposal? Well, our voice, our pens, our keyboards. And then the most important thing we have is our minds. It's perhaps unrealistic to call us to 'vote with our wallets' BUT we can change our consumption habits. Cut down on the amount of waste our presence on Mother Earth manufactures.

Let's take control of our personal environmental footprint.

Zeitgeist - The Movie

Here's some homework for the Eish!! readers, if you have bandwidth to burn. There has been an internet release of a very interesting movie Zeitgeist, actually a good few months ago.

Zeitgeist : the spirit of the time; general trend of thought or feeling characteristic of a particular period of time. This is the premise of the movie that looks at who 'runs' the world and how. From the snippets I have heard it sounds extremely thought provoking and well worth a watch.

In three parts, Zeitgeist attempts to show that 1) Christianity is rehashed pagan sun-worship and is used by the rich and powerful to control people, 2) the 9/11 tragedies were part of an elite conspiracy, and 3) ever since World War I, the ultra-rich have been secretly manufacturing wars and financial collapses to control the populace and to get richer and more powerful.

Eishman is waiting for a special package to arrive before watching it so you have a week to give it a watch. NB, no comments on the movie here please, store them somewhere and we can have a 'round table' once I have an opinion.

Link : Zeitgeist - The Movie (Online viewing)
Download here (701mb)

Curry cook-off

Something for HumpDay!!

For those of you who have lived in Natal, you know how typical this is. They actually have a Curry Cook-off about June/July. It takes up a major portion of a parking lot at the Royal Show in PMB. Judge #3 was an inexperienced food critic named Frank, who was visiting From America.
Frank: "Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a Curry Cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table asking for directions to the BeerGardenwhen the call came in. I was assured by the other two judges (Natal Indians) that the curry wouldn't be all that spicy and, besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted".
Here are the scorecard notes from the event:

CURRY # 1 - SEELAN'S MANIAC MONSTER TOMATO CURRY...
Judge # 1 -- A little too heavy on the tomato. Amusing kick.
Judge # 2-- Nice smooth tomato flavour. Very mild.
Judge # 3(Frank) -- Holy crap, what the hell is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the flames out. I hope that's the worst one. These people are crazy.
CHILI #2 - PHOENIXBBQ CHICKEN CURRY...
Judge # 1-- Smoky, with a hint of chicken. Slight chili tang.
Judge # 2 -- Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken seriously.
Judge # 3-- Keep this out of the reach of children. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who Wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver! They had to rush in more beer When they saw the look on my face.
CURRY # 3 - SHAMILA'S FAMOUS "BURN DOWN THE GARAGE" CURRY...
Judge # 1-- Excellent firehouse curry. Great kick.
Judge # 2-- A bit salty, good use of chili peppers.
Judge # 3-- Call 911. I've located a uraniums pill. My nose feels like I have been snorting Drain Cleaner. Everyone knows the routine by now. Get me more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back, now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting pissed from all the beer.
CHILI # 4 - BABOO'S BLACK MAGIC BEAN CURRY...
Judge # 1-- Black bean curry with almost no spice. Disappointing.
Judge # 2-- Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or other mild foods, not much of a curry.
Judge # 3-- I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it. Is it possible to burn out taste buds? Shareen, the beer maid, was standing behind me with fresh refills. That 200kg woman is starting to look HOT...just like this nuclear waste I'm eating! Is chili an aphrodisiac?
CHILI # 5 LALL'S LEGAL LIP REMOVER...
Judge # 1-- Meaty, strong curry. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding considerable kick. Very impressive.
Judge # 2-- Average beef curry, could use more tomato. Must admit the chili peppers make a strong statement.
Judge # 3 -- My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted and four people behind me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage. Shareen saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from the pitcher. I wonder if I'm burning my lips off. It really pisses me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming. Screw them.
CHILI # 6 - VERISHNEE'S VEGETARIAN VARIETY...
Judge # 1-- Thin yet bold vegetarian variety curry. Good balance of spices and peppers.
Judge # 2-- The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, and garlic. Superb.
Judge # 3-- My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, sulfuric flames. I am definitely going to crap myself if I fart and I'm worried it will eat through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that Shareen. Can't feel my lips anymore. I need to wipe my as$ with a snow cone ice-cream.
CHILI # 7 - SELINA'S "MOTHER-IN-LAW'S-TONGUE" CURRY...
Judge # 1-- A mediocre curry with too much reliance on canned peppers.
Judge # 2-- Ho hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chili peppers at the last moment. (I should take note at this stage that I am worried about Judge # 3. He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing uncontrollably).
Judge # 3-- You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I wouldn't feel a thing. I've lost sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with curry which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava to match my shirt. At least, during the autopsy, they'll know what killed me. I've decided to stop breathing- it's too painful. Screw it; I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air I'll just suck it in through the 4-inch hole in my stomach.
CHILI # 8 - NAIDOO'S TOENAIL CURLING CURRY...
Judge # 1-- The perfect ending. This is a nice blend curry. Not too bold but spicy enough to declare its existence.
Judge # 2-- This final entry is a good, balanced curry. Neither mild nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge #3 farted, passed out, fell over and pulled the curry pot down on top of himself. Not sure if he's going to make it. Poor man, wonder how he'd have reacted to really hot curry?Judge # 3- No Report.